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Tormented Dream of a Broken Heart-Love Pearl

Today my soulless brain took me to my colony, which after 30 years, is presumed dead and lifeless. I see myself standing in the middle of the badminton court, the court that shares so many soul-full memories of my love and me together. Alone now in this dead environment, with broken swings, desolate surroundings, and abandoned houses, my mind drifts, and suddenly it’s evening—the sunset glows, the colony slowly comes alive again. I stand there alone, now in this dead environment, with broken swings, desolate surroundings, and abandoned houses, with the feeling of my lost love, remembering the small badminton games we used to play during our first close encounters; where I first shared my feelings with her, writing ILU on the mud........But I have nothing now, my dream shows me I am standing there in the court alone, with no one present, with an empty desolated colony all around me……………. Suddenly!!!, the air fills with the distant laughter of children, the colony becomes lively again, w...
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Tormented Dream of a Broken Heart_v1

Today my soleless brain took me to my colony, which after 30 years, is presumed dead and lifeless. Where I see myself standing in the middle of the badminton court, the court that shares so many soul-full memories of my love and me together. I stand there alone, now in this dead environment, with broken swings, desolate surroundings, and abandoned houses, with the feeling of my lost love, remembering the small badminton games we used to play during our first close encounters; where I first shared my feelings with her, writing ILU on the mud........But I have nothing now, my dream shows me I am standing there in the court alone, with no one present, with an empty desolated colony all around me……………. Suddenly!!!, I see it’s the evening, the sunset is there, the colony, slowly becomes lively again, with friends and kids playing around, and families chatting, and this is the same evening when my love was going out of the station with her family for the first time since we fell in love. Whe...
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Misfits-A Retrospective Conclusion

  MISFIT - Who Am I ? 🧠  Inner Complexity & Emotional Depth I am a  profoundly introspective person—someone who doesn’t just  feel  emotions but  analyzes  them deeply. I let my heart lead, even when it’s inconvenient, painful, or against logic. I am not afraid to love hard, fall deeply, and stay loyal even when it breaks me. 🌍  A Misfit in a Conforming World I don’t see or process the world the way most people do. I feel like a round peg in a world full of square holes—always trying to fit in, yet staying fundamentally different. I am not misunderstood by chance—it’s because I experience and express life in a way many people aren't equipped to handle or reciprocate. 💔  Abandonment & Emotional Exhaustion Throughout the misfit chapters, I have demonstrated a recurring theme of emotional abandonment—not just by lovers, but by friends, family, and life itself. I have given people all of me, but received only fragments in return. That ...
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Chapter 3: First Love in the Badminton Court: The Magic Begins

 I’d seen her before, that faint memory at the Sarasvati Temple during Durga Puja in 1992, but it wasn’t until November 1993 that my world truly began to shift. I was 17, and Pearl was 13, still young in the eyes of the world, but what we felt was the first whisper of something real. Some might scoff at the idea of love at such an age, but 27 years later, at 45, I can tell you it was the beginning of a magic that has stayed with me, a flame of first love that faintly burns even now. Pearl might still be angry with me for not handling things with more patience, but I couldn’t surrender to the hate I felt for the situation that tore us apart. That’s a story for later, but to understand how we got there, you need to know how it all began—how a badminton court, a little girl named Aashima, and a few unspoken glances turned into a love story. C.B.R.I was always a place of life and energy, as I’d come to know in the six years since we’d moved there in 1987. The scientist apartments, with...
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Chapter 2: C.B.R.I Days: Friends, Fun, and Her First Glimpse

 In 1987, when I was 11 years old, my life changed in ways I couldn’t have imagined. We moved from Civil Lines to the Scientist Apartments in C.B.R.I, a perfect square of 64 houses, no more than 80–90 meters across, nestled in the heart of Roorkee. For a kid who’d been an only child for 11 years, this was a dream come true—suddenly, I had a whole colony of kids to play with, boys and girls who became my world. C.B.R.I was a happening place, a high-profile government organization with every facility a child could dream of: huge playgrounds, tennis courts, badminton courts, volleyball courts, and a community center with indoor games like table tennis, carrom, and cards. The main C.B.R.I building even had an auditorium where they’d show movies and documentaries—a big deal in a small town like Roorkee back then, when cinema was a rare treat. The Scientist Apartments were a hub of cultural activity, buzzing with events that brought the community together. There were carnivals—or “FATE,”...
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Chapter 1: Before Love: A Roorkee Childhood

 I had everything, or so I thought—until I had nothing. At 48, I sit in a quiet house in Noida, the echoes of my dad’s old songs long gone, my wife and child a fading memory, and my friends scattered like leaves in the wind. All I have left are the memories of her—my Girl, my Pearl, the one who understood me like no one else, my wife and my kid, who .......  But to tell you how I got here, I need to go back to the beginning, to a small town called Roorkee, where a boy dreamed of Spiderman and had no idea how love would one day break his heart in two. I was born on September 27, 1976, in New Delhi, a true Libran with a belief in the stars that’s followed me all my life. My family, a liberal Sikh household, moved to Roorkee soon after, a town better known for its engineering college, Roorkee University, which later became IIT Roorkee. That campus wasn’t just a backdrop—it was part of the air I breathed, a sprawling playground of red-brick buildings, dusty paths, and the faint hu...
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